There is pain in one configuration for a handful of seconds and then just as I come to terms with it, just as I try to accept it, it is gone and I’m being hurt in another way. XXX I become very hard. This pain is worse than before, worse than any of the others. “Where am I? I feel something building inside of me. I deliberately take calm breaths, slow breaths and my panic subsides. And I don’t have any clothes on. But my need has overwhelmed that. It’s all I can hear. “Commencing stimulus. Who am I?”
My own voice is raspy. I am still restrained. I remember the instructions. I endure the shocks for a silent minute.
